Wait Longer
You’ve heard the quote, “If I’m not back in 5 minutes wait longer.” Sometimes when we need God’s help and cry out to Him, He is quiet or seemingly not answering, right? Has anyone ever experienced this?
I know when I feel I am lacking in grace regarding a person or situation, I quickly say to the Lord HELP! I need……
Grace
Help in not to react emotionally
Patience
Whatever it may be.
And what about those hot button topics or character trait issues that seem to come up from time to time or often?
Why do we make these things unconquerable in our mind? Why do we allow them to become magnified and then we reject our spouse?
Focus
If there are 7 things out of 10 that cause contention in your marriage, focus on the 3 that are right. Highlight the 3, commend the 3, celebrate the 3! Pretty soon there will be 4. Then 5. Why and how does that happen?
Model God
It’s the same way God loves us in all our imperfections, He doesn’t reject us for the things we do wrong or the way we are. He loves us to the truth. And loves us and loves us. It causes us to want to be better, do better. Romans 2:4 His goodness leads us to repentance.
The Real Issue (is us-stop pointing the finger, look inward, look upward)
The real rub is that we as a spouse and responder to our mate is that we need to renew our mind so that our flesh doesn’t get involved. Let’s face it, once our flesh gets involved it gets ugly.
Marriage is a tool for our growth, it helps to sanctify us. A person that has not been married has not experienced a certain type of death to self. Don’t get married if you are not willing to die!
If you are asking God to change your spouse in an area unpleasing to you, and He doesn’t seem to be responding, IT MAY BE YOU that you need to ask God to help you with! And in doing that you will be amazed at how they change. Because now you are giving it to God.
What are we really talking about here?
Anything that disappoints, irritates, causes discord or frustrates
For men it can be:
Feeling like what they do isn’t ever good enough (we can’t be pleased)
Ladies: Our husband WANTS to please us; encourage his efforts, don’t be impossible!
Feeling like we expect them to read our mind (communication is key)
Assumes wrong motivation when doing something (stop assuming!)
For women it can be:
Wishing he is more helpful around the house and/or with the kids
Wishing he is more romantic, sensitive to your emotional needs or more present
There are many other examples. Again it’s anything that causes us to feel disappointed, irritates, causes discord or frustration.
Remember we said focus on what is right and good? Think on these things!
Phil 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Focus on their attributes, what you love about them! Encourage and build up!
Discussion: What areas are hot button topics for us that we need to look at differently? What are areas we so love in our spouse that we need to remember and focus on?
Study: Phil 4:8
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help us to renew our mind to your great love for us in all our imperfections. Help us to love each other the way you love us.