Let Him Fail

• Equal But Not the Same

Today we are talking about RIGHT ORDER in our relationship, right order in our home. Remember we said husband and wife are equal, wife we are just NOT the head. Eph 5: 22-33

•  The Husband is the Head, the Leader

As a wife though, do we try to lead because our husband isn’t leading, OR because we don’t like or approve of HOW he leads? Did he get it wrong one time, so we take control?  

• The True Test

Here’s a question: Do we let our husband fail? Do we let him be wrong?

The true test to find out if we try to control, dominate and not allow our husband to lead is stepping in every time he attempts to lead. Successfully or not. It shows we don’t respect or honor his leadership, and this is a weakness in us women. The result will be that he will stop attempting to lead. We see this more than not.

• God Confronted Adam First

We submit to one another but leadership rests on the shoulders of the husband. Yes, we pray about things as a couple, address things as a couple, and make decisions as a couple, but we need to give room for us husbands to take the lead. He is accountable. He will answer for it, not the wife.  God confronted Adam in the garden first. Eve initiated the sin, but God addressed Adam before dealing with Eve.  It’s the man’s responsibility. Anything else is out of God’s order.

• God’s Order is Counterculture (Sorry, not sorry!)

It goes against the norms in society, we get that! We are seeing the dysfunction and fruit of, but the Word of God is clear (Eph 5: 22-33). Let’s do it God’s way and not conform to the culture (Col 2: 8)!

It’s easy to support our husband when he is successful, but what about when he is not? To allow him to fail is giving up control and trusting God. Let him fail, let him be wrong. This is when we want to bring support and encouragement. Because then Holy Spirit gets to make the adjustment, NOT us which is ineffective and comes across like mommying, nagging and is unfruitful.

•  Control is:

  - Emasculating

  - Enabling

  - Dishonoring

  - Out of Order

• What’s at the Root?

At the root of control is not trusting God.  This is the sin of the ages, taking matters into our hands. Release it and trust Him! 

• Ask for Help!

Wives: Ask God to help you release control and support your husband as they lead, no matter what that looks like. Because your husband wants to please you, and over time will become the leader they are meant to be.

Discussion: What are some ways (as a wife) we can turn control back over to our husband?

Study: Eph 5: 22-33 & Col 2:8

Prayer: Heavenly Father, help us to have the order that you designed us to have in our marriage and in our home. Amen.